I know, I know.

At the end of my review of Fifty Shades of Grey I said I wasn’t going to read book two and three. Here’s the thing: between “it gets so much better in book two…”, “don’t you want to know what’s gonna happen next?” and “we need to discuss this at work!” I really didn’t have a choice.

So I *reluctantly* ignored my son all day yesterday and read that damn book. Ahem.

So let’s start with the fact that I’m still not over the dark copper hair. Like I said before, Christian Grey is supposed to look like a hot Christian Bale. So naturally, to get into the mood for book two, I look at pictures of Christian Bale online. I just like to be well prepared - it’s like research, you know.

Then I find this. IS THAT COPPER COLOUR IN THAT BEARD??? I take a REALLY close look and I think it is. Damn - Christian Bale IS still hot, so - since I’m all flexible ‘n shit I decide to roll with it. Christian Bale and copper it is.

Book two picks up where book one left off. Anastasia has broken up with Christian because he is just too fucked up. Of course they can’t stay away from each other, get together again and then it goes like this:

sex sex sex fight sex sex jealousy sex sex fight fight sex sex sex jealousy sex sex kinky sex fighting more kinky sex normal sex fight shower sex sex fight rough sex shower sex sex sex crazy ex-girlfriend sex marriage proposal sex sex sex shrink sex fight bitch slap sex sex sex marriage proposal accepted sex sex kinky fuckery sex ….

I think I got it right, it was something like that. The bitch slap was possibly after marriage proposal accepted, but I forget because kinky fuckery.

There really is not a whole lot more to say. Except maybe to all the people who think this book is like porn: p u h l e a s e, people - this is not porn. Porn actors last way longer than Christian Grey! Jeez, they sure have sex a lot in that book and almost always twice in a row, but the guy only lasts a few minutes! Thank god he has a job already, because he sure would not last in the porn business.

And then I guess there’s the thing where Anastasia is kind of a dipshit and lets Christian walk all over her. Come on, girl - the guy is a control freak and love will not heal him. You don’t need to save him, you need to get the fuck out of there!

Of course she does not listen and now I have to read book three, because you guys want to know, right?!? Alright, it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to take - for the greater good, y’all!