So apparently we are not in Toronto, but in KW, which stands for Kitchener/Waterloo and it’s all the same to me.

Fucking houses everywhere you look - and yes, I have been drinking. I have also been posting weird status updates on my Twitter page all day, but I wasn’t drinking then.

It’s not that I’m drunk or anything, I only had three beers. Alexander Keith, really, is that even a beer or just some beer-tasting soft drink. Yay for German beers (which I didn’t have, just sayin’).

So today was the first full day of my “business” trip and I’m totally jet lagged. Damn three hours time difference. It still blows my mind that I’m three time zones away from my family. You get onto a plane, fly for four hours and boom - three time zones later. It’s a miracle. And even though you probably think I am drunk now I can assure you that I am not. It has always fascinated me how you can be in one place one minute and a few hours later in a totally different place, just like that.

But I digress.

Today was a full day of the Home Hardware pre-market conferences and at the beginning of the day I didn’t think I was going to make it. It was so fucking boring. My boss signed me up for a lumber estimating seminar and the speaker was just atrocious. Not that lumber estimating is a sexy topic, but I mean there is talking about stuff and then there is making people want to shoot themselves.

Anyway, I made it through that and there was a lunch with a funny comedian and that was alright. I forget the guy’s name, but I’ve seen him on the Comedy Channel before and thought he was funny. For some reason the Home Hardware corporate people did not laugh at his masturbation and penis jokes. Go figure.

The highlight of the day was the seminar on the new Home Works program, because there was a franco-canadian guy there and he said:”the biggest asset in my backyard is my dick” and I thought that’s good for him and then one of the other people said that he meant to say “deck”, not “dick” - and I was still happy for him.

Also, I learned that “Hughes” can also be a name for a franco-canadian guy and then it’s pronounced “ooogue” and I can tell you the guy did not look ooogue at all but more yummy.

So those were the highlights. Of day 2.

Tomorrow: Home Hardware Spring Market 2012.

I will keep you posted.