son: mom, what kind of games do you have on your blackberry?
me: just the one it came with, it's called word mole.
son: omg, what you old people find exciting is just plain boring for us young people.
me: i am not old!
son: no offense, mom, but have you looked in the mirror lately?
I want out of the labels. I don't want my whole...
pianoacrossamerica: ― Chuck Palahniuk YES! YES YES!
what do you want out of life? what i want never seems to align with what my family wants. i hate to sound like a frustrated housewife (which i am NOT). what is wrong with wanting a life less ordinary? what is a life less ordinary? that’s open for discussion…
You will not do incredible things without an incredible dream.– John Eliot (via relucent)
Year in Review // Jahresrückblick →
My new blog. Check it out. Pass it on. There is much to be learned - I know I learned one of the most important life lessons this year from Jerry Springer.
folkinz: You know you really nailed a joke when the person you tell the joke to laughs so hard they fart. snort is a pretty good indication as well. snort-fart is the ultimate though :) I would like to hear the joke.
I think I might be the oldest person on tumblr. Everybody do as I say.
Got my first presents!
Harry Potter Marathon
My daughter is a Harry Potter fan (which I prefer over her being a Justin Bieber fan any day). So from the money she actually earned herself she bought the complete 8 movie collection and immediately made a schedule on when to watch them. Then she bought a bag of her favourite snack and divided it up into 8 small bags and labeled those as well. She’s done watching movie 4 now, 4 left to go. ...
son: back off!
daughter: you back off!
son: stop it right now or i'm gonna take you down.
daughter: i'd like to see you try.
son: i mean it.
daughter: bring it on. just wait until the warden comes.
then i walk into my daughter's room and find out that they built a lego prison and are playing inmate-fight. thank you children for not calling me the warden of your personal prison.
My kids are playing the Sims game on their ipods. My son just said to my daughter: “You are not going to spoil those kids of yours, are you?” I think this means I can take a nap now and leave them to their parenting problems. Maybe there actually is some kind of justice out there.
grandmother, part 2
So now it seems official that my mother-in-law is coming to visit and my kids are less than thrilled, as you can see here. So my daughter had this idea today at lunch, that made me kind of happy. That handy little “finger expression” on the picture below means nothing less than “a**hole” in Germany and people use it mostly instead to showing the middle finger. Anyway, in...
son (10): mom, does it look like i am starting to grow facial hair?
son: well, that's because I just shaved my face with the razor you use for your legs
my mother-in-law has never really given my kids any christmas presents, and since we've moved to canada it's been a good excuse for her not to bother anymore at all. today, a christmas card she sent came in the mail.
kids opening the card
looking at the "empty" card
daughter: nice. well thanks for nothing then!
son: she always does that, she's not our nice grandma, that's the other one
daughter: i will tell her if she ever comes to see us, i'm gonna say "thanks for nothing"
son: yeah, tell her in english, she doesn't speak a word of it
daughter: that's a great idea. if she ever comes to visit we will only speak english with her and tell her we don't know german anymore
son: (evil laugh)
merry christmas, mother-in-law!
I used to love Christmas, but now…
my son wrote this story. not the touchy-feely kinds like you might expect from a 10 year old. but then again, i always encourage him to say it like it is. and i guess this is how it is, at least in his opinion.
luclatulippe: Insulate yourself from anonymous angry people Expose yourself to art you don’t yet understand Precisely measure the results that are important to you Stay blind to the metrics that don’t matter Fail often Ship Lead, don’t manage so much Seek out uncomfortable situations Make an impact on the people who matter to you Be better at your baseline skills than anyone else ...
i have always had my suspicions that watching too much of the maury povic show is detrimental to my husband’s mental state, and now i have proof. we have gotten into the habit of doing this daily quote thing, with everyone in the family taking turns and writing down a quote, lucky number and funny word for the day. today was my husband’s turn, and here is the proof that he watches...
daughter: does the mc donalds in walmart count as walmart?
me: no, it counts as mc donalds. why?
daughter: i was just wondering if the walmart gift card i got is good at mc donalds in walmart.
me: no, it's not.
daughter: well i am going to go there and tell them exactly why i think i should be able to use it. i will tell them in such detail that they are just going to get sick of me and let me use it anyway. and i will do that after i order then they have to let me use it.